“Breaking The Connection” Between Sadness and Overeating
I met Deb James when she took the Releasity course in 2014. A few weeks ago, she told me of a “victory” in her life, which happened the day she realized she was “breaking the connection” between feeling sad and going to food to comfort her. I asked if she’d share her story here:
February 19th would probably be considered just another day, unless it was your birthday, wedding anniversary or something like that. For me, it was the day my Mom lost her battle with cancer, a day that forever changed my life. For those of us who’ve lost a loved one, we know the helplessness and frustration we feel when we can only stand by and watch them suffer. My mom and I had a special relationship that went beyond mother and daughter. We were each other’s listening board, best friend, confidante and, on rare occasions, sparring partner. Mom was the only person in my life that I knew loved me for just being me. Naturally, losing her created a vast chasm in my life.
I did the “Christian thing” and sought prayer and counseling but nothing seemed to help. If I let myself feel, all I felt was an irrational sense of guilt because I believed if I’d had more faith, God would have healed her. Well-meaning folks tell you that if you have the faith the size of a mustard seed, your prayers will be heard and answered. Well, I had begged God to save my Mom and He didn’t. That became the enemy’s foothold to keep me down. And I stayed down. This is where the weight started to play a factor in my life. I had never struggled with weight before as I was always active and never thought too much about food. But now I had this “What does it matter?” bubble constantly permeating my thoughts until it became a habit to go to food whenever the pain was too much to bear.
That’s the way it was until God led me to Releasity. Releasity is a ministry course that helps women get in touch with the real reasons some of us turn to overeating. Through this program, I am learning to go to God when something is bothering me.
This past month, on February 19, the anniversary of my mom passing away, I was amazed to see that my day was markedly different from previous years. Instead of eating whenever I thought about Mom, I simply sat back in my chair and let my mind go where it needed to go. I wondered how my life would be different had she lived. I considered how she has now been gone from my life longer than she was in it. I thought and I felt and it was painful. But, the one thing I didn’t do was go to the fridge. I went to God. In fact, it didn’t even dawn on me to go to food. That, for me, was the beginning of a new way to live.